What are pronouns and why do they matter?
Personal pronouns can be used to address someone without using their name. When efforts are made to support one’s pronouns, it can make us all feel respected and affirmed.
Some examples of pronouns
- They/Them/Their/Themselves
- Ze/Zir/Zirs/Zirself (pronounced zee, zere, zeres, zereself)
- Ey/Em/Eir/Eirself (pronounced ay, em, air, airself)
- Ve/Ver/Vis/Verself (pronounced vee, ver, vees, verself)
- She/Her/Herself
- He/Him/His/Himself
Note: This is not the whole list and there are many pronouns that are not included here.
Why share your pronouns?
If 2S/LGBTQIA+ folks are the only ones to share their pronouns, it could feel like they are centered out, or “sticking out”, in many situations. When cisgender folks share their pronouns, it supports creating a gender-affirming space that normalizes pronoun sharing for everyone.
How could you share your pronouns?
This can look like including your pronouns as part of your verbal or written introductions (meetings, bios on websites/webinars/presentations, etc.) as well as inviting others to share their pronouns!
Should everyone share their pronouns?
It’s not a must for everyone to share their pronouns – nor should we make others feel self-conscious about not sharing their pronouns.
Before you get to know someone’s pronouns, you can:
- Use their name
- Share and model for others
- An open invitation for someone to share their pronouns can mean a lot. You can say something like: “my name is _ and my pronouns are __!”
What if I get someone’s pronouns wrong?
Mistakes happen! What’s important is what we do about mistakes – acknowledge them, understand why they are important, apologize, correct yourself/thank someone for correcting, and move forward.
Try to avoid unloading/making a big deal of the apology or creating situations where a 2S/LGLBTQIA+ person feels they need to comfort you.
Here are some examples of how someone can correct themselves or respond to being corrected:
- “She-sorry, they are…”
- “Ze is-my apologies, she is…”
- “I’m sorry. Thank you for correcting me. They are…”
They/them pronouns
They/Them IS a singular pronoun. The person you’re referring to using they/them is singular. However, you would still say “they are” instead of “they is”.
Examples:
- “Someone left their wallet here”
- “They have suggested some of their favourite books for me to read”
- “Alex is my friend! They are the person in the red shirt.”
Mixed or multiple pronouns
Mixed pronouns are when someone uses a combination of pronouns. For example:
- She/they
- He/they
- She/he/they
People might use mixed pronouns because they feel that one set of pronouns doesn’t capture their full identity.
If a person uses mixed pronouns, check in with them about how they want you to use these pronouns. Some people might be comfortable with you using one set of their pronouns. Some people might change their pronouns on a day-to-day basis. Some people might want you to consistently alternate between pronouns. You could say something like, “Do you have a preference how I use your pronouns?”
Neopronouns
Neopronouns are personal pronouns considered as an alternative to existing third-person singular pronouns. Neopronouns are generally not officially recognized within their language; however, neopronouns are valid pronouns.
People may use neopronouns because they feel it is more accurate to their experience or feels more authentic to who they are.
Neopronouns might be more unfamiliar to you than some pronouns. That is okay! Like with any pronouns, it is important to practice and genuinely try.
Some examples of neopronouns:
- Ae/Aer/Aers/Aerself (pronounced “ay”, “air”, “airs, “air-self”)
- Fae/Faer/Faers/Faerself (pronounced “fay”, “fair”, “fairs”,“fair-self”)
- Ney/Nem/Nir/Nirself (pronounced “neigh”, “nuh-m”, “near”,“near-self”)
- Per/Per/Pers/Perself (pronounced “ear”, “pears”, “pear-self”)
- Xe/Xem/Xyr/Xemself (pronounced “zee”, “zem”, “zeer”,“zem-self”)
Note: There are many pronouns that are not included here and some people may use different spelling that is not included on this list.
Learning about pronouns is an important part of creating welcoming and inclusive spaces in schools and beyond. For more information, check out Trans Wellness Ontario (English only). We also have other materials to help you support equity and inclusion at school in our resource library.
Reference:
Trans Wellness Ontario. (n.d.). Pronouns. transwellness.ca/pronouns
GLSEN. (n.d.). Pronoun Guide. https://www.glsen.org/activity/pronouns-guide-glsen