Time
10-15 minutes
Level
Primary / Junior / Intermediate
Material
Chart paper, marker
Purpose
To provide students with ways to find win/win solutions when disagreements arise
Brainstorm with students about why conflicts arise. Discuss and identify when it is necessary to seek the help of an adult.
Create a list of steps to engage in when involved in disagreements:
- Identify the issue – what do we disagree about (e.g. an opinion, goal, belief or resource)?
- Listen actively to each other’s side. (See “Purposeful listening” practice.)
- Clarify using “I” messages and a calm tone.
- Use eye contact.
- Tell the person: “I have a problem…”
- Describe the problem or behaviour in a non-threatening way. “When you do this…I feel…”
- Tell the person how you feel about the problem. “I feel…”
- Swap sides – think about the disagreement from both sides.
- How would you feel? What would be important to you if you were the other person?
- Try to stay calm until you have a win/win solution.
- Ask students to think about a time over the past week (or that day) when there was a difference of opinion or conflict and how they made use of the conflict resolution model.
- Explore/discuss the virtues of Peace and Forgiveness as it relates to conflict resolution.
- Create posters to reflect the virtues of Peace and Forgiveness, using famous quotes.
Allowing students to practice understanding others’ perspectives helps them regulate their emotions, so they can engage in healthy social dialogue (Eisenberg & Fabes, 1995). Specifically modelling productive conversations about others’ thoughts and emotions, is related to positive emotion during conflict, and reduced post-conflict distress (Randell & Peterson, 2009).
Eisenberg, N., & Fabes, R. A. (1995). The relation of young children’s vicarious emotional responding to social competence, regulation, and emotionality. Cognition and Emotion, 9(2-3), 203-228. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/02699939508409009
Randell, A. C., & Peterson, C. C. (2009). Affective qualities of sibling disputes, mothers’ conflict attitudes, and children’s theory of mind development. Social Development, 18(4), 857-874. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9507.2008.00513.x
The virtues of Peace and Forgiveness are among the basic tenets of our Catholic faith, especially as it relates to conflict resolution.
(2a) An effective communicator who listens activity and critically to understand and learn in light of gospel values.
Self-regulation and well-being: to develop one’s own thinking and feelings and to recognize/respect the differences of the thinking and feelings of others
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